Choosing where to send your child to school is an important and difficult decision for any parent, but this can be further complicated for separated / divorced parents who may not only have differing views on what school is best, but may also live in different school catchment areas and need to agree who is responsible for payment of any school fees or extras. With the deadline for applications for state primary schools being on 15 January 2025, the decision over primary schools will be at the forefront of many parents’ minds this week. With places for the most popular schools already at a premium, any delay in applying can result in the child missing out on their first (or fifth) choice of school. So how best to deal with this issue as separated parents to avoid a deadlock?
Who has the right to choose which school the child attends?
Anyone who has “parental responsibility” for your child has a right to make decisions about your child’s life including where they go to school.
Who has “parental responsibility” for your child is limited to:
- The child’s mother.
- Anyone the mother is married to or in a civil partnership with (if the child was born after 2 December 2019).
- The child’s father where he is unmarried but has been registered as the child’s father on the birth certificate.
- Where someone has acquired parental responsibility through a parental responsibility agreement with the mother and files it at the Central Family Court or has obtained a parental responsibility order from the court.
- Where a child had been born through surrogate and the intended parent(s) have a parental order.
- The adoptive parent(s) once the adoption has been finalised.
What is the starting point if we cannot agree school arrangements for our children?
Even where parents are estranged, they are still expected to consult and agree with the others holding parental responsibility over important decisions such as choice of primary school.
If you are in the process of divorce or separation, it is advisable to inform your child’s school early on and expressly ask that you are consulted on all decisions affecting your child. Often, when the school is unaware of the parents’ change in circumstances, they may not consult with both parents on all issues, usually assuming that both parents are in consensus and that one parent has the authority of the other on decisions as they have done in the past.
In terms of trying to reach agreement with the other parent on big issues such as schooling, the starting point is always communication, which is essential for any conducive co-parenting relationship. If an agreement cannot be reached between you, there are options available before you go to court, which should always be explored before any court application is made.
These alternative dispute resolution (“ADR”) options are often faster and cheaper for both parties, meaning they tend to be more child focussed as they minimise the acrimony between parents. In the context of deciding which school to send your child to, as it is becoming all the more urgent with the deadline looming, your options for ADR are, unfortunately, more limited.
Mediation is often a key method of solving disputes before they reach court. It involves both parents appointing a neutral and impartial third party who can help both parents negotiate to reach a solution to the dispute. The mediator will not decide for you, but will facilitate the discussion to help the parents find a mutually agreeable outcome.
The courts themselves are putting more and more emphasis on mediation, with recent changes to the family court procedure rules allowing judges to either adjourn hearings until mediation has taken place or implement cost consequences for those who fail to participate in mediation (except in circumstances of domestic abuse). So, it is always worth seriously considering mediation before you make a court application.
Many parents also find relationship therapists useful, as there are a number who have a particular focus on post separation co-parenting. Relationship therapists have seen all sorts of issues play out before them and can contribute to helping you both find a school that suits both of your priorities.
Parenting Coordinators work in a similar way but are there to educate the parents as to a child’s needs and you can instruct them to make a decision for the parties that is in the best interests of the child. For instance, they could weigh up the reasons for sending the child to either primary school elected by the parents and provide their view. This is where a Parenting Coordinator differs, as therapists and mediators rarely contribute their own view on resolving a dispute and instead allow you to find it together.
The efficiency of these options is dependent on the speed in which you and the other parent can agree to (1) the type of ADR; and (2) the identity of the professional helping you. Sometimes, this can generate more arguments than solve them as you have a new raft of decisions to make together.
You cannot force the other party to the table in ADR. When you have a co-parent who is entirely unresponsive or obstinate, sometimes the only way to encourage them to engage is by commencing court proceedings.
When should I make a Court application and what is the process?
If you have tried to engage with the other parent on where to send your child to primary school, whether through direct contact or one of the methods mentioned above, and you are still no closer to a resolution, then you can make an application for a specific issue order to the courts for a judge to decide the outcome. You may also make an application for a prohibited steps order to prevent the other parent from applying to send your child to a primary school without your consent.
This will involve the preparation of court forms and a witness statement setting out your reasons for the schools you have suggested, and then the listing of a hearing in front of a judge or magistrates to decide the position. Because of the backlog in court cases, it is strongly advised that you start the application several months ahead of the deadline (or two weeks ahead at a minimum), to ensure a hearing is listed ahead of the school deadline. If you ultimately end up agreeing on schools ahead of the hearing, then you can notify the court that the hearing is no longer necessary as agreement has been reached.
If you want advice on the issues raised or to discuss your situation further, please contact a member of the Family Team at Winckworth Sherwood to discuss your options.